[Cloverfield]

I realize that many on these forums will now be against me, but I accepted the situation that I was in, so I now have to live with it. It doesn't mean I'm going to make excuses for myself or what we did. I will say however, that the decision initially was not an easy one. I was hard for me to make, but one that we all agreed had come to a time that it must be done.

In the past I was seen as the friendly administrator, and Sydney was more harsh. Which made us a good team. Recent events (both on and off forum) had lead us to make this decison. And only several hours ago, Sydney banned two regular members from the forums for what seemed like a bit of joking around. These members were not given warnings. And to us this seemed like the final straw. As Justin already mentioned, we never intended to take away Sydney's administrative privalages forever, only to stand up for ourselves and fellow members.

I will admitt that the handling of it all could have been different. But what happened has happened for a reason. I had to go out tonight, so left in quite a rush, therefore not being able to handle everything better. True, we could have waited. But you can't keep saying "what if", as you can't change the past. While I was out I did feel that perhaps I had done something wrong.

In a way I felt caught. Caught because I don't like to get on anyone's wrong side, I don't like to do anything to hurt someone. Part of me believed that what I was doing needed to be done, but the other part remembered the Sydney I have known for the past couple of years. The person who I had grown to respect and think of as a friend. But I had to put that aside. I don't know why, but I had to do what I did, be it right or wrong.

Everyone is probably also thinking that Justin is an evil mastermind behind it all. That is not true. He may have views that are different to many people and he may be strong willed. But he is not an evil person. He is the kindest person I know, he cares about others, and would never intentionally do harm. He did not corrupt me or Alcar in any way. We simply came to the realization that something needed to be done. I will point out that myself and Justin are 100% financial owners of the forums. Not that that gives us any right to handle the situation the way we did, but in the "real" business world, we would be the major shareholders and could hold the vote of any board decisions. Okay... so that's probably a bad anology to use, and I'm really not a business orientated person (so I may be wrong there also). I'm just meaning that 100% financial ownership does stand for something. That kind of makes me cringe however, as it is against all I usually stand for, I'm usually not one to take Glukkon style views.

I never ever thought this day would have come. I have always stood by Sydney throughout my time here as a co-administrator, and am grateful to him for giving me the position. I've always been more of the quiet side of administration, rarely controversial, and often agreeing to that which Sydney consulted me on. If someone asked me a month ago if this was something I would do, I would have said "never". But situations change. People change. With both of those, this just was what needed to be done. I never had ill feelings towards Sydney, and do, and will continue to respect him as a person. I hope you can at least believe me when I say that I didn't wish to hurt him, but only do what I believed best for the forums. Nor did I feel good about what I done... actually it plagued me all night when I was out.

I know I'm probably going to get people picking this message apart or being nasty towards me. I even considered leaving the forums and never coming back after I found out what it had come to when I got home tonight. But Justin convinced me to be strong, and now I am writing my true words here.

So fellow forum members, love or hate me, I respect you and your decisions. If you decide you hate me, then so be it, that is what you feel, I won't hate you in return. And if you can see our side just a little bit, then I also respect you as well and thank you for your support.

Abe Babe...