Bumper stickers: What's your favorite, or what would you put on one?

Doug · #1 05-03-2002, 01:39 AM

Inspired by an exchange with Neike, I recently changed my signature to a saying I saw on a bumper sticker.

What I would like to hear from people is what is your favorite bumper sticker saying, or what would you put on a bumper sticker if you could print them up?

I have 2 favorites:

One takes its inspiration from those popular bumper stickers you see on really old, beat-up cars that say "My other car is a ________" (Rolls Royce, Mercedes, Porsche, Ferrari, Jaguar, some other really desirable car):

"My other car is a piece of shit, too."

The other was suggested by a US automotive industry writer (Brock Yates) and takes its inspiration from the 80s fad of hanging a sign in the window (almost always in a Volvo station wagon) or having a bumper sticker that says "Baby on Board", as if one would take extra care not to collide with another car on the basis of the character of its occupants:

"No baby on board, so take your best shot."

(I had a bumper sticker for a while that said "Brat in Trunk")

To UKers/Australians: I know that in the UK, car parts have different names: hood=bonnet; trunk=boot, etc. Do you have another name for "bumper" (the US word for the horizontal structural strip on the front and back that theoretically prevents you from causing thousands of dollars worth of damage when you back into a telephone pole at 3 miles an hour)?

Joe the Intern · #2 05-03-2002, 02:14 AM

I don't have a favorite bumper sticker, but if I would put something on a bumper sticker, it would have to be:

"Honk if you hate bumper stickers that tell you to honk "

One, Two, Middlesboogie · #3 05-03-2002, 07:10 AM

No, we call them bumpers here (Britain) too.

I'd have a spin-off of that scene in Fried Green Tomatoes:

You may have got the speed, but I've got the insurance!

Doug · #4 05-03-2002, 09:33 AM

:

Originally posted by One, Two, Middlesboogie
I'd have a spin-off of that scene in Fried Green Tomatoes:

You may have got the speed, but I've got the insurance!

That's a great movie. I love that scene, too.

Cool Paramite · #5 05-03-2002, 10:12 AM

We have : "Ik rem niet voor Martin Gaus" (I don't stop for Martin Gaus) in Netherlands. Youp van 't Hek said that on TV. Martin Gaus didn't like that, but made money out of it: he designed the stickers himself! They sold so good, that he could pay 2 vacations of it.

This really happened, I swear it!

Sydney · #6 05-03-2002, 10:13 AM

The secret's in the sauce!

Here in Australia, we call them Bumper Bars. I've seen one that's quite funny showing your typical Jesus fish, but it has legs and the caption says "Evolution". If I had a car, I'd have a large sticker on the back window reading MEAT IS MURDER. It wouldn't make friends, but would cause a few snickers from fellow drivers.

paramiteabe · #7 05-03-2002, 10:29 AM

I would like to have an Oddworld bumper sticker!

Whistling kettle · #8 05-03-2002, 10:53 AM

:

Originally posted by Cool Paramite
We have : "Ik rem niet voor Martin Gaus" (I don't stop for Martin Gaus) in Netherlands. Youp van 't Hek said that on TV. Martin Gaus didn't like that, but made money out of it: he designed the stickers himself! They sold so good, that he could pay 2 vacations of it.

This really happened, I swear it!

I also don't stop for martin gaus. The idiot earned money with the fact that many people don't like him........ He's crazy, he probably thinks it's funny that many people don't like him............

pinkgoth2 · #9 05-03-2002, 11:50 AM

:

Originally posted by Doug
Inspired by an exchange with Neike

The only bit I'm interested in is how it was inspired. Ahem. Or do I not want to know afterall? *grin* Or, perchance, is there a second Neike and I'm getting sweaty and nervous for nothing?

- Tya / Neike

Doug · #10 05-03-2002, 01:01 PM

:

Originally posted by pinkgoth2
The only bit I'm interested in is how it was inspired.

You said in the Perfect World thread that you worried about upsetting the karmic balance if you had a perfect day. That made me think of a bumper sticker which is actually quite rare but cracks me up when I see it. Hence my latest signature (at the bottom of my post).

OK, Netherlanders; let us in on the joke. Who is Martin Gaus and why is he controversial?

munchman · #11 05-03-2002, 01:06 PM

:

Originally posted by paramiteabe
I would like to have an Oddworld bumper sticker!

that would be cool, is thier Halloween Bumper stickers, that would be my fav. bumper sticker

Disgruntled Intern · #12 05-03-2002, 04:01 PM

well, after engaging in some "unsupervised fun" with a lady friend, we were kidding around, and for whatever reason, I thought there should be a bumper sticker that says, "I'm not a whore, I just like to F*ck." ah, yes....my lack of tact is even further evident in my bumper sticker ideas....

Danny · #13 05-04-2002, 11:46 AM

"Keep Honking, I'm Reloading."

EDIT: Or one that says "Please Keep Your Distance" in really tiny writing...

Jacob · #14 05-04-2002, 02:10 PM

I would have to have one like...Ermmmm:

"I'm gay, so feel free to shunt me from behind."
(^^ I like this one.^^)

or

"If you can read this i have a clear shot of your head."
(^^Thats quite a shitty one, but still.^^)

or

"You want to complain about my driving? Call the federal Police department. I'm prisoner 803795."
(^^Also a crappy one, and also one that wouldn't be funny outside the US.^^)

Teal · #15 05-04-2002, 02:29 PM

:

Originally posted by Jacob
"I'm gay, so feel free to shunt me from behind."

*sniggers*

Eh, well, it helps to have a car + bumper to stick one one, but hey...

My housemate has a window sticker that says "People think I'm crazy, but actually I'm just bored."

"Gone crazy, back soon" is also one I quite like...

Or "51% sweetheart, 49% bitch - DON'T PUSH IT!"

There's quite a lot of sentiments on t-shirts that I like, to change the subject...

One said "I have PMT and ESP, that makes me a bitch that knows everything" or "You're just jealous that the little voices are talking to me."

kalynn · #16 05-04-2002, 02:31 PM

:

Originally posted by Joe the Intern
I don't have a favorite bumper sticker, but if I would put something on a bumper sticker, it would have to be:

"Honk if you hate bumper stickers that tell you to honk "

My favorite would have to be "shit happens"

Cool Paramite · #17 05-04-2002, 03:19 PM

:

Originally posted by Doug
OK, Netherlanders; let us in on the joke. Who is Martin Gaus and why is he controversial?

Controversial? No...... his job is something with dogs.

Cool Paramite · #18 05-04-2002, 03:21 PM

:

Originally posted by Doug
OK, Netherlanders (1); let us in on the joke. Who is Martin Gaus and why is he controversial?(2)

1. Is that correct english?

2. Controversial? No...... his job is something with dogs. (You get it? "Ik rem voor.... < insert animal here. >") Don't ask me why so many people don't like him. I don't know much of him.....

EDIT: Hey, why do I have a double post?! I clicked the reply button only one time.......

MudokonOddball · #19 05-04-2002, 04:00 PM

A few of these have once been my name on MSN.

"Culturally unaware"

"Your village called. Their idiot is missing."

"I hear voices....and they don't like you."

"I brake for yard sales"

"My mom is named Janie and someone wrote a song about her....how did it go?"

"I puberdiddled."

"WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?!?"

EDIT: My rating has classified me under a Mudokon Flake. Well, now, see, I could have told you that much...

Doug · #20 05-04-2002, 04:02 PM

:

Originally posted by Cool Paramite

1. Is that correct english?

2. Controversial? No...... his job is something with dogs. (You get it? "Ik rem voor.... < insert animal here. >") Don't ask me why so many people don't like him. I don't know much of him.....

1. Yes

2. OK, I think I'm following now. If I get this straight, some bumpers say "I stop for dogs." ? Sounds like a common one here: "I brake for animals." So this one says "I don't stop for Martin Gaus," suggesting that if you saw him you'd run him down.

Anyone else know why Martin Gaus so disliked?

Jacob, that prisoner one would be funny here.

Some of the "how am I driving?" ones reminded me of a few others I find amusing. Lots of commercial vehicles here have phone numbers and vehicle IDs on a sticker saying something along the lines of "How's my driving? Call XXX-XXX-XXXX" or "This driver is a professional. To report unsafe driving call XXX-XXX-XXXX."

A common satirical one along these lines is: Don't Like My Driving? Call 1-800-EATSHIT

Another one is: If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk.

Jacob · #21 05-04-2002, 05:19 PM

"Your Mother-in-laws in the trunk, so stop tail gating me unless you want me to let her out..."

Another i just made up...

Cool Paramite · #22 05-06-2002, 11:42 AM

:

"I brake for animals."

Brake, THAT was the word I was looking for. (Replace "stop" with "brake" in my previous bumper stickers posts.)

pinkgoth2 · #23 05-06-2002, 02:47 PM

"I'm busy marvelling at the shiny green round thing. Do not disturb." (feel free to edit, as I think this isn't catchy enough, but you get the point)

heheheh

- TyA

Disgruntled Intern · #24 05-06-2002, 04:37 PM

well, I being quite the reptile enthusiast/lover, I have the sticker "I BRAKE FOR SNAKES!" I love it, although in the eyes of others, it may seem horribly cliche'd or just..stupid.

Doug · #25 05-07-2002, 12:03 AM

:

Originally posted by Disgruntled Intern
well, I being quite the reptile enthusiast/lover, I have the sticker "I BRAKE FOR SNAKES!" I love it, although in the eyes of others, it may seem horribly cliche'd or just..stupid.

Kind of along the same line is the famous and ubiquitous "I [red heart, i.e., love] [insert pet interest: specific dog breed, specific cat breed, specific hamster breed, favorite hobby, activity, whatever]"

This one of course began with the famous marketing campaign: I [heart] New York.

The one I want? I don't give a shit what you [heart]

Tsk, tsk. I'm so cynical.

Roy · #26 05-07-2002, 07:30 PM

how do you ... get 1 ?

pinkgoth2 · #27 05-08-2002, 11:55 AM

:

Originally posted by Doug
Tsk, tsk. I'm so cynical.

lol, that one was great.

Cynic: Someone who's rose-colored glasses have been taken, thrown to the ground and smashed, immediately improving his vision. ;)

- TyA

nads · #28 05-10-2002, 06:16 PM

I'd put: If you can see this, GET OUT OF MY ASS!

OR, honk if you have pnuemotic rangling monkey butt disaeas